Imagine My Embarrassment
by istytehcrawk
Summary: It's a good thing Santana likes Blaine.


Blaine is a planner. That's been true as long as he can remember, all the way back to kindergarten, when he spent an entire week dreaming up an intricate scheme for how to trick Cooper into letting him buy _two_ treats from the ice cream truck the next time he babysat. Making plans is kind of Blaine's _thing_. It's a constant in his life.

Unfortunately, having his biggest plans backfire is _also_ a constant in his life, especially when the plans involve Kurt in any capacity, such as the infamous GAP Attack or that time he thought it would be a brilliant idea to propose while they were broken up. Knowing that, he should have realized that planning a big surprise – a sexy surprise, on top of everything else – in celebration of Kurt getting promoted at Vogue could only end in disaster.

He didn't. Which was why, at 3:17 p.m. on an otherwise innocuous Thursday afternoon, Blaine was simultaneously mortified and immensely grateful that Santana's dance class got out early that day. As soon as he heard the apartment door close and listened for a moment to make sure no one else had come with her, he called out to her, cringing at what he was about to endure. "Uh...Santana?"

"What up, hobbit?" The clack of her heels across the wooden floor toward his and Kurt's "room" made him break out into a cold sweat.

"Wait!" he yelled. "Don't open the curtain!"

"Yeah, like telling me that is going to stop me from doing it anyway." True to her word, she marched forward and flung the curtain open within seconds, before Blaine could react. Not that he could really _do_ anything, anyway. "Oh. My. God." Santana plopped onto the bench at the foot of the bed, doubling over with laughter, and all Blaine could was blush. As her laughter subsided, she looked back up at him, and that set her off again. "I'm sorry," she choked out, wiping away tears of joy, "but what the _hell_ are you doing?"

"What does it _look_ like I'm doing?"

"Serving yourself up on a silver platter like a stuffed pig." With a quick glance at his lower half, she added, "Literally." Like she couldn't stop herself, she reached out and flicked against the base of the butt plug with her middle finger, the vibration causing Blaine to let out an uncivilized squawk despite himself, sending her into another round of hysterical giggles. He glared at her, and, finally seeming to regain a shred of the decency he knew was hidden somewhere deep inside her, she picked up the blanket that was next to her on the bench and tossed it over him, giving him at least a shred of his dignity back.

"Thank you."

"No problem. Now, I'm assuming that, given your current state, you wouldn't have called me in here without a damn good reason, so what is it?"

He hesitated before answering, but once he started, it all spilled out. "Kurt called me on his lunch hour to tell me that he did get the promotion after all, so now he's going to be working alongside Isabelle instead of as her assistant. I wanted to surprise him when he got home, so I...did _this_, but he called about half an hour ago and said his boss was making him stay late tonight to go over some upcoming projects, so he doesn't know when he'll be home, and I really, _really_ have to pee, but I can't get myself out of the handcuffs because the key is on the dresser."

With a smirk, she grabbed the key and unhooked his left hand before giving him the key so he could finish the rest himself. "You do realize, don't you, that this guarantees me one night of debauchery on the couch with the girl of my choosing while you two vacate the premises, right?" Blaine cringed, but nodded as she left the room, closing the curtain behind her. It was the least he could do. He just wouldn't be able to tell Kurt.

The next night, the three of them, plus Rachel, Quinn, Adam, and Artie, went out to the bar where Santana worked to celebrate Kurt's promotion. About half an hour after they got there, the DJ spoke up between songs. "I've been asked by our very own lovely Miss Snix to dedicate this next song to her good friend, Blaine Anderson." Everyone at the table turned to Blaine, bewildered, when the song began.

_She's a very kinky girl..._


End file.
